January Joker Read online

  “Guys, my parents will be home pretty soon,” Brian said. “How do we tell them that Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose have been kidnapped by aliens?”

  “Don’t forget Polly and Pal,” Nate added.

  “I think it’s time for a new plan,” Bradley said.

  Bradley put his finger to his lips and pointed toward the ceiling. He led the other kids into the hallway. They walked down to the kitchen.

  “What’s the new plan?” Lucy asked.

  “We have to call Officer Fallon,” Bradley said.

  “Who’s he?” asked Lucy.

  “The chief of police,” Nate told her.

  “Bradley, Officer Fallon will think you’re joking,” Brian said. “When you say aliens, he’ll just laugh!”

  “How do you know?” Bradley asked. “A lot of grown-ups believe in aliens. It says so in my book.”

  “Okay,” Brian said. “But you’re talking to him, not me.”

  Bradley looked up the phone number and dialed. “Officer Fallon?” he said. “This is Bradley Pinto.”

  Then Bradley told Officer Fallon the whole story.

  “Yes, sir, we will,” Bradley said after listening for a minute.

  He hung up the phone.

  “What did he say?” Lucy asked.

  “Did he believe you?” Brian asked.

  “I don’t know,” Bradley said. “He said to keep the attic door locked and wait till he gets here.”

  The four kids sat at the kitchen table.

  “Some of that cake would be nice,” Nate commented.

  “Forget it,” Brian muttered.

  Two minutes later they heard a siren.

  Nate peeked out the window.

  “The cops are here!” he said.

  The kids grabbed their coats and ran outside. They almost bumped into Officer Fallon and Officer Keene.

  “Have Josh and the others shown up yet?” Officer Keene asked the kids.

  They all shook their heads.

  Just then a fire engine roared into the yard. There were three firefighters in rubber suits and hard hats.

  “Hey, Chief!” the man driving the engine yelled at Officer Fallon. “Where do you want the ladder?”

  Officer Fallon looked at the twins. “Which one of you is Bradley?”

  “I am,” Bradley said. “That’s Brian.”

  “I can never tell you two apart,” Officer Fallon said.

  “I have a tooth missing,” Brian said. He proudly showed off his gap.

  “Bradley, where’s the attic window?” Officer Fallon asked.

  Bradley pointed to the top window in the house. “That one,” he said.

  “Put the ladder there,” Officer Fallon told the firefighter.

  “Got it!” the man said. He backed the fire engine closer to the house. The ladder began rising until the top was right outside the attic window.

  “Incoming car, Chief,” said Officer Keene.

  Brian and Bradley’s parents pulled into the yard.

  “It’s Mom and Dad!” yelled Brian.

  The twins’ parents leaped out of their truck.

  “What’s happening?” their dad asked.

  “Is the house on fire?” their mom cried.

  One of the firefighters had climbed up the ladder. “Hey, Chief,” he yelled down. “Should I smash this window?”

  “No!” Officer Fallon yelled.

  “What have you kids been up to?” the twins’ father asked.

  “There are aliens hiding in the attic,” Nate said, grinning.

  “Is this a joke?” the twins’ mother asked. She looked around. “And where are the big kids?”

  “It’s not a joke, Mom,” Bradley said. “I told you about the aliens, remember?”

  Bradley’s mother looked at him. “I know you did, hon,” she said. “But I thought you were kidding around.”

  “Well, I wasn’t!” Bradley said. “A spaceship landed in our yard last night, and they stole Josh and Dink and Ruth Rose!”

  Bradley’s parents looked at each other.

  “And they took Polly and Pal,” Nate chirped. “They’re gonna eat ’em!”

  Just then Officer Fallon walked over.

  “Officer Fallon, what exactly is going on?” Bradley’s father asked.

  “I got a call from Bradley here, saying the older kids—and your pets—had disappeared,” Officer Fallon told Mr. and Mrs. Pinto. “Bradley told me he and his friends actually saw some aliens.”

  “One was green and one was yellow!” Bradley said. “They were peeking in the kitchen windows!”

  “Great,” his dad muttered. “I go to Ellie’s Diner for breakfast and my family goes crazy!” He glared at his twin sons. “If this is some joke, you two are grounded. Forever!”

  “Can we please go inside?” the twins’ mother said. “The neighbors will think Green Lawn is being attacked!”

  “It is, Mom!” Bradley said. “I even got a phone call from Josh in outer space!”

  “Besides, we don’t have any neighbors,” Brian added.

  “INSIDE!” his mother shouted. She marched up the back steps.

  Everyone crowded into the kitchen.

  “Who wants to tell us what’s going on?” the boys’ father asked.

  Brian pointed at his brother. “Him. He started it all!”

  “I did not!” Bradley said. “I know what we saw last night!”

  “And what did you see, hon?” his mother asked.

  “Lights from a spaceship,” Bradley said. “I think.”

  “And then what happened?” Bradley’s father asked.

  Bradley and the other kids told the whole story. They tried not to leave anything out.

  They told about:

  the circle in the snow

  and the footprints

  and the printout from Josh’s computer

  and the faces in the window

  and the noises in the attic

  and the phone calls from space

  and the rubber hot dog on the bed

  and the ripped-up note.

  When the story was over, the boys’ parents and the officers had their mouths open.

  Finally, Mrs. Pinto stood up. “Officer Fallon, will you please go into my attic and get those aliens?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am!” Officer Fallon said. “You’re backup, Officer Keene.”

  “Yes, sir!” Officer Keene said.

  “What should we do?” Bradley asked.

  “Just sit and wait,” his mother said. “This should be very interesting.”

  “You might think about your punishment if this is all a prank,” his father said.

  “But, Dad, we all saw the aliens!” Bradley said.

  Just then Officer Fallon entered the room. He was carrying a green alien in his two large hands.

  Only it wasn’t a real alien. It was a green sweater stuffed with newspapers. Painted toilet paper tubes were the arms and legs. Macaroni was glued on to look like teeth. A long string dangled from around its neck.

  Officer Keene was right behind, holding the yellow alien.

  “Hey, that’s my very favorite golf sweater!” Bradley’s father said.

  “We found something else up there,” Officer Fallon said.

  He stepped aside. Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose stood behind him. Their faces were red. Pal sat at Josh’s feet, smiling at all the people.

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be in a spaceship!” Nate yelled.

  “No, you’re supposed to be in charge of the younger kids,” the boys’ father said. He gave Josh a stern look.

  “We were in charge,” Josh said. “Sort of. I mean, we were in the attic.”

  “You were up there the whole time?” Bradley said.

  “We can explain,” Josh said.

  “I can hardly wait,” his father said. He crossed his arms.

  “Excuse me, but I think we’ll leave you folks now,” Officer Fallon said. “I’ll tell the firefighters to take off, too.”

  �
��Right behind you,” Officer Keene said.

  “Thank you both,” the boys’ mother told the officers. She turned to the older kids again. “We’re listening.”

  “It all started when Nate sent those postcards to Dink, Josh, and me,” Ruth Rose said.

  “What postcards?” Mr. Pinto asked.

  “It was just a joke,” Nate said. “The cards said they had won a million dollars in a contest.”

  “I decided to get back at him,” Josh said.

  “We all did,” Dink said.

  “I read Bradley’s book about UFOs,” Josh continued. “That’s where I got the idea to pretend we were abducted by aliens.”

  “It was my idea to get Lucky O’Leary to help,” Dink added. “He drove his snowmobile over last night to make the circle in the snow.”

  “I knew I saw moving lights!” Bradley said, beaming.

  “Dink and Ruth Rose hid in the barn,” Josh said. “They dangled those make-believe aliens out the window. I lit them up with a spotlight from the attic. Then I pounded on the floor to wake up the twins.”

  “And hiding Polly in our garage was my idea,” Ruth Rose said.

  “We carved potatoes to make those little footprints in the snow,” Dink added.

  “What about that paper we read from your computer?” Brian asked.

  Josh grinned. “I wrote it myself.”

  “We knew all the parents were meeting for breakfast, so we planned it for today,” Ruth Rose said.

  The table grew silent.

  “This calls for punishment,” the boys’ mother said.

  “And I think the younger kids should choose the punishment for the older kids,” Mr. Pinto added.

  “Yes!” Brian shouted.

  “No fair!” Josh argued. “They’ll make us stay in our rooms for ten years with no food!”

  “No, they won’t,” Josh’s mother said. She looked at the four younger kids. “You’ll be fair, right?”

  The four kids nodded.

  “Okay, then go into the other room and decide,” she said.

  The twins and Nate and Lucy scooted into the living room.

  “I go first because I’m oldest!” Brian said. “I say we make them walk around Green Lawn in their underwear.”

  Nate nearly fell over laughing. “I’ve got a better one!” he said. “How about if we make them clean our rooms and make us snacks every day for a year?”

  “Those are both too mean,” Lucy said. “Besides, I don’t want them in my room poking around in my stuff.”

  “Lucy’s right,” Bradley said.

  “So what should the punishment be?” Brian asked.

  Bradley grinned. “What if we make them dress up as aliens and sit in Ellie’s Diner?” he asked.

  The other three kids stared at Bradley.

  “And we get to dress them,” Bradley added.

  Then they did a four-kid high five.

  The next Saturday morning Ellie’s Diner was more crowded than usual. In fact, there was a line waiting to get in.

  • • •

  Bradley and Brian, Nate, and Lucy stood outside holding a banner.

  The sign said: MEET REAL, LIVE SPACE ALIENS INSIDE!

  Officer Fallon stopped to read the banner.

  “What’s this about?” he asked. “Another January joke?”

  “No, this time they’re real!” Nate said.

  Officer Fallon grinned, shook his head, and walked inside.

  The kids rolled up the banner and followed Officer Fallon.

  Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose were sitting together in a booth. Their skin was green. They had fat bellies. Tinfoil antennas sprouted from their heads.

  Each kid had a pair of goggly yellow eyes.

  Officer Fallon walked up to the booth. He had a big smile on his face. “Gee, real, live space aliens,” he said, pulling his notebook from his shirt pocket. “Do you sign autographs?”

  “They’re not allowed to talk!” Bradley said.

  Josh reached out a green hand. His fingernails were purple.

  Officer Fallon gave him the pad and a pencil.

  Josh wrote: BUY US ICE CREAM, AND WE’LL SIGN ANYTHING!

  Officer Fallon showed the note to the younger kids. “What do you think?” he asked.

  “Sure,” Bradley said. “Aliens like ice cream, too!”

  1

  Secret Valentine

  “I love Valentine’s Day,” Bradley Pinto told his twin brother. They were walking to school. Both boys had green ski caps pulled down over their red hair. They wore matching ski jackets.

  “Why, because girls send you valentines?” Brian asked.

  Bradley shook his head. “Nope. Because Mom always makes cupcakes!” He was carrying a box of them.

  Bradley and Brian met their friends Nate Hathaway and Lucy Armstrong in front of their school. Nate had black hair like his older sister, Ruth Rose. Lucy’s blond ponytail hung from under her fuzzy white hat.

  Lucy was staying with her cousin Dink’s family for one year. Dink was best friends with Ruth Rose and the twins’ brother, Josh. Lucy’s parents were in Arizona helping to build a school on a reservation.

  Nate tapped the box Bradley was holding. “How many cupcakes did your mom make?” he asked. He rubbed his tummy.

  “Twenty-four,” Bradley said.

  “Is that all?” Nate asked. “I could eat ten all by myself!”

  “Dream on,” Lucy said.

  Nate had brought paper plates, napkins, and plastic forks. Lucy was carrying a bag of heart-shaped cookies.

  Just then a loud bell clanged. The four friends hurried into the school. A bunch of other kids were scurrying to their classrooms as well. A few parents came in carrying boxes. The janitor, Mr. Neater, was mopping up snow puddles.

  The kids’ first-grade teacher, Mr. Vooray, waited for them outside his classroom. The rest of the class was already in the room. Two of the kids were feeding Goldilocks, the hamster, and Yertle, the box turtle.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day,” Mr. Vooray said. “Please put your goodies on the counter. And everyone hang up your coats.”

  Bradley, Nate, and Lucy carried the cupcakes, cookies, plates, and forks over to the counter. Bradley noticed other cupcakes, a plate of brownies, and a bowl of candy hearts.

  A big red box sat on Mr. Vooray’s desk. The box was decorated with paper hearts. All the kids knew it was filled with valentines. They had been making them all week.

  “When can we open the box?” Samantha asked Mr. Vooray.

  “As you know, today is a half day,” Mr. Vooray said. “I think we should wait till just before we go home. Then we can pass out the valentines and eat all the treats you kids brought in.”

  The morning went quickly. The first graders did math problems. Then they wrote in their journals. When they were finished with that, they read in their library books.

  Then Mr. Vooray read aloud from Charlotte’s Web.

  Suddenly Nate’s tummy growled.

  Mr. Vooray looked up. “I guess it’s time to eat,” he said with a smile.

  Everyone jumped up and ran for the counter. Kids giggled and bumped into each other as they handed out paper plates, napkins, forks, and cups of juice. Then the kids who had brought food passed it out. Soon everyone was munching.

  Bradley bit into a chocolate cupcake with pink frosting. He and his mom had frosted them early that morning.

  “When can we get our valentines?” Joyce asked.

  “Right now!” Mr. Vooray said. He pulled the lid off the red box and dumped a big pile of valentine cards on his desk. He picked Flo, Bradley, and Lucy to pass them out to the class.

  “Hey, Mr. Vooray, here’s one with no name on it,” Bradley said. He held up the envelope. It was red and shaped like a heart.

  Mr. Vooray grinned. “It’s a mystery card,” he said.

  “Open it!” a bunch of kids yelled.

  “Go ahead,” said Mr. Vooray.

  Bradley opened the envelope. He pulled ou
t a heart-shaped card and showed the class. On the front was a picture of a bunny rabbit.

  Bradley read what was written inside the card: “LOOK IN THE CLOSET.”

  Mr. Vooray walked over to the closet. He put his ear to the door. “I hear something,” he whispered.